Baby K was born march 5th... he was a bit premature spent 33 days in the nicu and has been home with us since.   Recently i started noticing some changes in his head shape. now they want him to see a genetics specialist, and eye doctor, a speech thera0pist to do a swallow test, and back to the neonatalogist....    after going through everything we have already... its normal for me to feel upset, right? i feel like everything he has gone through and is still going through is my fault... and i;m just really trying to accept all of this still. i love K more than anything... i just don't know why this happened to me. :( mom says god chose me because he knows i'm strong enough to make it through it, but i don't feel it right now. What makes it even harder is Jake isn't being supportive at all. the other day i was having a bit of a break down and all he really said was "get a hold of yourself"    i left him yesterday. its just too much right now. he always treats me like he doesn't care or like i'm stupid. He even makes me feel like i'm a bad mom when i get upset  or stressed. He went out and broke his finger about 2 or 3 weeks ago so now i'm basically a single mom anyway since he can't even hold K. At this point... losing jake isn't going to make any difference in my life. i can't even say that i wont have anyone to cheer me up when i'm sad because i didn't have that even when he was around....